Under Wraps

I’ve just had an email from Debenhams asking me to review the knickers I bought from them for the wedding. And, afterall, in these enlightened days, why would any woman have reservations about discussing her underwear online for all to see?

As it turns out, my review mostly focussed on the Buy Online Collect In Store service (hm; that makes it sound longer than 2-3 lines…), because this is the first time I have used it, and it is quite frankly the more fascinating part of the purchase. Knickers, after all, are knickers. You put them on and then spend most of the day sitting on them.

I loathe shopping. So do my mum and grandma. We hate it. We detest it. We are like your typical blokey bloke when it comes to shopping – walk in, feel dazed, and decide we have a headache and need to get out of there as soon as possible (oddly, my aunt quite enjoys shopping…). I’m not even that good in supermarkets: I become maddeningly efficient. The Fiance and I often do a whirlwind sweep and meet each other, arms loaded, at the tills. So looking for undies was not fun.

I had a browse in some shops, but it is frustratingly difficult to find white knickers which are neither transparent or a thong, and online you can’t always tell. Even my size was hard to come by, because apparently the smaller the woman, the more transparent and thong-like she wants her knickers. Which I have to say, is a little bit disturbing…

So I decided to use this Buy Online and Collect in Store service, which meant if I didn’t like the item I could return it in its sealed plastic bag (because normally you can’t return underwear unless there’s something actually wrong with it, like it being a different size to that stated on the box, being torn, stained, or otherwise failing to meet manufacturing standards). Also, no shipping costs. Yay!

I started off faffing about with M&S Collect In Store, but I didn’t like their item (it wasn’t white) so I tried Debenhams instead. Notably, Debenhams give you two weeks to collect your item, and M&S only one week, which is lucky, because I go into town on Wednesdays, and on Wednesday morning I had no Ready for Collection email from Debenhams – it came whilst I was out. Had that happened at M&S my item would have got sent back to the warehouse. It might’ve helped if Debenhams had told me to expect a Ready for Collection email mind you – but I wanted to know exactly what I was supposed to do and nosed around on their website until I (eventually) found out about it.

At least with Debenhams I could’ve returned the item on collection – M&S don’t deal with all items at all stores, and I had to collect at one and return to another – madness!

So I’m pretty pleased with Debenhams, and with their prices. I also got a low-back convertible bra from them and spent £15 on underwear in total. Now, if I type “wedding underwear” into google and hit shopping, sort by relevance, the first hit is £74.99 and there is a garter which costs a tenner. This is not a surprise. Many women are budgetting in excess of £50 for their underwear alone. How many men feel the need for new sexy pants on the day?

And what’s even madder is that the sexy corsetted sets you see don’t even fit under wedding dresses most of the time, which are largely shaped with their own boning so that you don’t need a bra, and if you want one are better off with a simple soft one than a shaped thing which competes with the intentions of the dress. So the women who buy these corsettes don’t actually wear them under their dress, they intend to change into them at the end of a long drunken day to please their new husbands before, as seems to be statistical – dropping to sleep exhausted without further excitement.

So what, you’re thinking, they need some pretty knickers and probably no bra, then an ultra-expensive sexy basque to change into? Well, no actually… a lot of women wear shapewear under their dress.

So something like these:

http://lh6.googleusercontent.com/public/HR8s8usvd8FxZfNtAesoT1YfwIJVwainrQM7HFtD6YduhKzJPCe5UKyzps95bXavevE_pmbThqlibl8Ecpk9HWPMHJ2bYUA3Mtg1JCiAkZnbUoSeTqkz8WVh192Yn2xAOCIwUo12GQN5lYB5XhLRar3q1uWwPjoQ0FnsrmeLT17FYQ=s220-c http://lh4.googleusercontent.com/public/48yyG8oYYn8Qg4yA9oSGejNn5IIbeWJEoAUfsYR90x1wfMzmqtqndbODEHdfZNgmwBY28i2erRvQKIukJtJMayA7mDOW8XDVwbEv7B1lN4XtAlRIZnJPYhEImyVXiNgZUOpLhJjo3aRS9wdBihhVWM3oodd0xV2bbA=s220-c

(which by the way is £36 and £61 from Debenhams respectively)

Actually, I find it quite amusing to imagine all the shapewear-clad brides. When you see a bride looking stunning, English-rose, lightly blushing, a whirlwind of swarovski crystals and other bridal bling – just think: she’s probably got shapewear on underneath! And this really can’t help at all with the going to the toilet issue, which is one incentive for brides not to get too tipsy on their wedding day!

If you don’t know what I’m going on about, I suggest you google for instructions on going to the toilet in your wedding dress. Popular advice seems to be to raise the front of your dress up above your head, have a bridesmaid cling on over each shoulder and straddle the toilet the wrong way round. Now, this is a comedy in itself, but… with shapewear underneath as well? That clingy, skin-tight sucking-in clothing, which probably needs entirely removing underneath the voluminous mass of white princess frivolity? Oh dear god…


(linked to source)


About RowenaFW

I am a Fish. But you wouldn't know it just from looking at me. View all posts by RowenaFW

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