Call a Spade a Spade

Sometimes I’d like to give the wedding industry in general a bit of a shake, and this is sparked off in particular by one of my pet peeves: calling a spade a spade, or – why are table plans never actually plans?


But this is the kind of thing I see all over the place. When I first came across it, I thought it was just a few couples being lazy and feeling that getting the necessary information out there was more important than showing people the actual layout in detail and making it pretty.

But pretty is definitely a focus. Table “lists” are written on mirrors, draped around birdcages (um, cages: a beautiful wedding symbolism *sniggers*), dangled in suitcases, bookmarking novels and so on and such forth et cetera. The creative lengths that have been explored are impressive, but they are all lists.

Strangely, and like so many other wedding-related things, table “lists” have become so ingrained that people are unable to think outside the box. Even when someone specifies they want ideas for seating PLANS and do not want LISTS they are shown “ideas” which are lists.

Personally I find that absolutely maddening.

Table plans as plans really appeal to me, not only because they give guests a superior slice of information (who they’re sitting beside, what way they’re facing, where their table is in the room – and whilst some lists do this latter, some don’t, so you can never be sure), and not only because they avoid the obvious issue of hierarchy with which guest is “head” of his/her table, but basically because they are MAPS.

Did you ever make treasure maps as a child? You know, where you dip the paper in tea, and then burn the edges (I loved burning the edges; I think my mum was a little bit wary I might turn into a pyromaniac, but luckily I had ni interest in burning things when it wasn’t for the sake of making something). I would design intricate worlds with hazards like volcanoes and swamps, trying to embed clues about how to find the treasure and make up stories about children ending up here and going on a quest. I loved treasure maps. I adored treasure maps. I want our wedding plan to be a MAP.

Maps are cool.

Even when you’re all grown up.


About RowenaFW

I am a Fish. But you wouldn't know it just from looking at me. View all posts by RowenaFW

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