Songs to Slit your Wrists To

Welcome to the Bad Taste Awards for wedding music.

I refer to this quote:

Sting later said he was disconcerted by how many people think the song is more positive than it is. He insists it’s about the obsession with a lost lover, the jealousy and surveillance that follows. “One couple told me ‘Oh we love that song; it was the main song played at our wedding!’ I thought, ‘Well, good luck.'”

American Top 40 broadcast with Casey Kasem

“It’s not about the lyrics”, “Nobody every really listens to the lyrics”, “Yeah, it would be bad to walk down the aisle to, but not as a second dance” (erm, the one you play to get everyone up dancing?) – these are the kinds of things I hear very often, along with very aggressive comments on how I’m in the minority and how I shouldn’t tell someone not to play a song they like at their wedding – after they asked for advice.

Because in the end, whilst they are many lovely, lovey-dovey sweetheart songs out there, most songs are about relationships going tits up, weird stalkerish behaviour and insane jealousy. To really bring out the creepiness and enhance the message of these songs, the writers set them to a cheerful, happy tune and sing them in innocent, loving voices. And enough people don’t listen to them and never realise what they mean, and refuse to believe that anybody ever listens or will think they’re a bit weird.

Notably this article covers a similar idea, and in the comments section people tell the author that they’re sick for seeing nice songs as creepy and that they just don’t appreciate them in their true context.

There are enough nice songs out there that you can actually find enough to fill an evening in your own taste range (we have a list a mile long – there are definitely too many songs on it for us!), and when it comes to popular creepy stalkerish songs, I suggest this rule: if you’re choosing a playlist, you shouldn’t hear them play.

So here are some of my favourite examples of creepy loves songs to avoid at your wedding:

1. Every Step You Take (the Police)

2. Mr Brightside (The Killers)

3. Spitting Games (Snow Patrol)

4. Invisible (Clay Aiken)

5. Baby It’s Cold Outside

6. One Way or Another (Blondie)

7. Jenny was a Friend of Mine (the Killers)

8. Hungry Like the Wolf (Duran Duran)

For some better song ideas, from lindsayg907:

Here is the playlist i’ve been making up, hope it helps.

Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger
Maroon 5 – She Will Be loved
The Beejees – To Love Somebody
Lady Gaga – Marry The Night
Lady Gaga – Born This Way
Lady Gaga – Poker Face
Lady Gaga – Bad Romance
Paolo Nutini – Candy
Paolo Nutini – Pencil Full Of Lead
Amy Macdonald – Mr Rock & Roll
Amy Macdonald – This Is The Life
Beyonce – Single Ladies
LMFAO – Party Rock Anthem
LMFAO – Sexy And I Know It
The Killers – Human
The Killers – Read My Mind
The killers – All These Things That I’ve Done
Kings of Leon – Sex Is On Fire
Kings of Leon – Someone Like You
Kings of Leon – On Call
Swedish house mafia – Miami To Ibiza
Aggro santos ft Kim Wyatt – Candy
The Calling – Wherever You Will Go
Hoobastank – The Reason
Queen – I Want To Break Free
Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
Queen – We Are The Champions
Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
Bruno Mars – Just The Way You Are
Goo Goo Dolls – I Just Want You To Know Who I Am
The Temper Trap – Sweet Disposition
Rod Stewart – Maggie May
Rhianna – We Found Love
Rhianna – What’s My Name
Flo rida – Wild One
Flo rida – Low
Flo rida ft David Guetta – Club Can’t Handle Me
Flo rida – Good Feeling
Justin Timberlake – Sexy Back
Scissor sisters – I Don’t Feel Like Dancing
Pit Bull & Chris Brown – International Love
Pit Bull ft Neyo – Give Me Everything
Journey – Don’t Stop Believing
Snow Patrol – Run
Elvis – Jailhouse Rock
Elvis – Burning Love
David Guetta – Titanium
David Guetta ft Rhianna – Who’s That Chick
David Guetta ft Kelly Rowland – When Love Takes Over
Snoop Dogg ft David Guetta – Sweat
David Guetta ft Flo rida & nicky minaj – Where Them Girls At?
Alicia key – No One
Alicia Keys – Empire State Of Mind
Adele – Make You Feel My Love
Jay Sean – 2012
Girls aloud – Love Machine
Girls aloud – Biology
Alyssa Reid – Alone Again
Emili Sande – Next To Me
Nadia ali – Rapture
Alexandra Stan – Mr Saxobeat
Kelly Rowland – Commander
N-dubz – Number 1
Calvin Harris ft Kelis – Bounce
Martin Solveig & Dragonette – Hello
Nicky Minaj – Superbass
Plan b – She Said
Labrynth – Earthquake
Tinie tempah – Pass Out
Tinie Tempah – Written In The Stars
Chris Brown – Next To You
Chris Brown – Beautiful People
Chris Brown – Turn Up The Music
Chris Brown – Forever
Pras ft ol’dirty B and Mya – Ghetto Superstar
Fugees – Killing Me Softly
Guns n Roses – Sweet Child Of Mine
Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams Are Made of these
Will Smith – Men In Black
Lighthouse family – Lifted
Charles and Eddie – Would I Lie To You?
Pm Dawn – Set Adrift On Memory Bliss
UB40 – Can’t Help Falling In Love


About RowenaFW

I am a Fish. But you wouldn't know it just from looking at me. View all posts by RowenaFW

2 responses to “Songs to Slit your Wrists To

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