Every couple, when choosing their venue, have to take into account their guests. How they’re going to get there, how much it will cost them, and all that jazz.
But don’t worry yourself to death over it. Yes, it’s handy if your venue’s in the place where most people live, but what with universities and people moving for jobs, the chances are your loves ones, like ours, are spread out across the country – or the world. And people do expect to travel for weddings, take trains, drive long distances and stay overnight. The effort people will go to for a wedding is quite touching. I suppose it all comes down to – they just love you that much.
So don’t upset yourself worrying about them, but don’t go out of your way to make things difficult for them either so that you can have your fairytale dream. Common sense.
But here’s something which may not be common sense to everyone. Making things easy for the guests is not about proximity, but access.
What do I mean by that?
Well, we’re getting married in the centre of Oxford. It’s within 10 minutes walk of the train station, 5 minutes walk of the coach station and 5 minutes walk to a main car park. There are park and ride facilities and we even have a few parking permits for slightly more central locations, which we have mentioned (quietly). I think this means pretty good access. We have friends and family coming from Sheffield, Bristol, London, Wales, Germany, Malta and Australia. These are not proximate.
We’re also having a daytime wedding, so guests from the UK can come that morning, leave that night and are not obliged to stay over. Some of our friends are “crashing” at another’s place (as we have at least a couple of friends from Oxford). So they might have to spend a bit on travel, but they don’t have to pay for a bed that night – the cost isn’t prohibitive.
As someone who doesn’t have a car, I’m always noting that most wedding venues are crap for access. Not just inconvenient, but totally and utterly crap. They tend to be very out of the way, with no nearby train station, poor or not too close by bus services and expect all their visitors to drive.
I don’t have a car, and I think it’s a disgusting reflection upon society that I’m expected to. If we came in a car, someone would have to not drink, or we’d have to stay in the venue, or we’d have to park at a hotel and taxi in and out – all things which spoil enjoyment or significantly compound the cost.
I’m talking about manor houses, the bigger, more expensive and more picturesque hotels and other countryside resorts. They’re lovely, but they’re mostly very inconvenient for most people, and personally that’s a big deal to me. When I RSVP to a wedding I check that I can get to it.
Worse are the church weddings where you have a reception venue miles away and needs to be driven to – not a great idea if there’s alcohol after the ceremony, and again puts people under pressure to order taxis (yeah, because weddings never run over time, do they…) to ensure they make it on time. When everybody else is fighting for them too, of course.
The basis function of all this is, if your venue is out of the way, you are going to have to check your guests are okay with that too – yes, ask them for permission. If you don’t have enough people able to get there, it is your responsibility to help them. One popular solution is hiring a vintage bus to transport guests to the reception venue and to off-site better value hotels at the end of the night.
The other suggestion is carpooling. Your guests won’t all know each other, so it’s best to include something in the invitations. I’d recommend hosting a spreadsheet on google docs, asking drivers to fill in how many spare seats they have on offer, and those not driving to fill in requests for seats. Share and share alike. It would take you minutes to set up such a document and be hugely appreciated by all your guests.
Today I discovered Cheryl Texiera, Confessions of a Bride-to-Be. She is totally awesome.
Know why? Because she is funny, truthful and says some of the less acceptable things that I’ve been coming out with. Here’s her introduction:
I especially love her hair extensions piece. Apparently, the bigger the event, the more you shouldn’t look like yourself. I’ve raised this issue with future brides before, only to be told that that’s the point.
Whose point???
Same goes for perfume. You have to buy a new one for the day so you smell different. Yeah, I get the cute thing about the smell reminding you of your wedding day thereafter, but if you have a signiature scent, there’s a reason for having it, right? It’s you. And surely on your wedding day you want to scream of “You”, yeah? You want to celebrate your identity because it is for who you both are that you love each other and have come together, isn’t it? Wrong. You’re a princess, you’re transformed. You’re anything but you. You have to wear makeup and clothes you would never normally wear, in colours you don’t wear, you have to have eyelash extensions and hair extensions because otherwise you will look shitty in the photographs and the world is labelled with must-haves and essentials which you’d never heard of before, like microabraison, universal contour wrap, primer and makeup artists.
Oh, and you must receive a compliment on all of these things, otherwise you will be disappointed and feel you should have tried harder and spend harder.
To say it drives me insane would be a bit of an understatement. Why can’t you have a wonderful party, look your best and have amazing fun? How is that “less”?
I think tiaras are silly. No, you are not a princess. Even for a day. Get a grip! Headbands/side tiaras, however, I can understand, although they are Not My Thing.
And since I am DIY-obsessed, I thought I’d share the idea of making your own. This is actually something I considered, but I couldn’t tell whether it would work out not without outlaying capital, and I am more frugal than I am creative – or at least I hope so. I also didn’t have a distinct idea what I wanted, despite a collection of “idea” photographs. I quite like little pins, and hair combs (which would not have worked with my hair plan) or hair vines.
Like these.
Pins
Combs
Vines
(Images are linked to sources)
You might have guessed that I am not a planning board kind of person. I like my ideas in lists with compison of prices and appearance pictures, rather than selecting one photo of each thing which is conveniently in my colours.
Perhaps I might’ve had a go at making my own hair accessories had I any idea that I wasn’t a lone madwoman in this enterprise, and that you didn’t have to be a professional jeweller to do this kind of thing. Well, I supposed you didn’t, but I’ve only ever made earrings before, which is not remotely similar.
I recently found this post on the forum I frequent. And I went:
Because this kind of advice from NEBride was just what I wanted. So in case anybody else needs it – buy your tiara/headband/hair comb/hair vine DIY kit at www.tiaramaking.com and read the poster’s advice about shiny bits which work. I especially liked these tips –
[W]ire (0.4mm for wrapping pearls/crystals around the band, or creating sprays/twisted branch type things). Some wire cutters would be handy so you don’t wreck scissors.
Glass pearls are far more affordable than real ones. Swarovski crystals/pearls are the most popular as they are great quality and the crystals very sparkly, but Preciosa crystals are a slightly cheaper alternative, and cheaper glass crystals can be really nice too. Diamante can be more difficult to work with than crystals.
And to finish on a high note:
Good luck with it, I can’t wait to wear something I’ve made myself for my wedding and I’m sure you’ll feel the same!
shapingpromises 