Naturally, I inisisted on doing all the honeymoon packing. The Fiance didn’t really care, and I love packing. I graduated to packingmeister years ago, when every summer holiday or Christmas my mum would get distressed, so I gradually took over the whole project. Like my aunt, I have a kind of packing “gene” – I not only love packing, but love minamilaist packing, whilst catering for every eventuality.
People are always surprised by what I manage to confine to my mini handbags.
At first, however, the packing was daunting even for me.
5 minutes later the cat got in the bag and made herself comfortable (the Fiance hoovered the bag shortly before I started packing it, because whilst it was living under our bed, it had become hers). But she wasn’t there for long.
Believe it or not, all this stuff does actually fit in the bag, with perhaps the exception of my hat, and that only because I was cautious of squishing it. I may have to wear it down to Oxford, protective plastic packaging and all. Plenty more fits in as well, because in addition to this lot is several shirts of the Fiance, our wedding day shoes, or wedding night “picnic” (in the fridge) and the bits and bobs we need in the meantime, as well as flatter things like remaining usher goodies, our tickets, passports, and emergency medical supplies (mostly plasters: my mum was very insistent we packed plasters).
And here’s the proof that it fits!
The pile of clothes that you see in the foreground consists of swimming costumes and wedding day underwear – all of which I rolled up inside the Fiance’s smart wedding day shoes. Yes, yes I did. All of it. Careful use of space makes a lot of difference to the ease of packing, and I always stuff shoes as full as possible.
Here in this neat and beautifully arrayed image you can see that I have stuffed every piece of underwear and all pairs of socks that I am taking on honeymoon inside my new brown shoes.
Also important was ease of access packing. On the day of arrival we will need our evening meal packing items available, and bathroom bits, et cetera. The next morning we need wedding day bits – everything from clothes/grooming equipment to shoes. Then that evening we will need our picnic, and the following morning access to “normal” clothes and toiletries. And thus here is the finished article (my parasol only fits diagonally and at a specific range of depths) – or at least as finished as it can be with the stuff we can’t yet throw in.
So, you know that I mentioned I was doing my eyebrows as Audrey Hepburn style as possible? I’ve just plucked them. They look fine, but thinner than hers after the curve at halfway, because they thinned out considerably and it was only possible to keep them looking neat if I thinned them.
I’ve also had a little go at using the liner to produce the “square” effect hers have.
These are my inspiration/guideline pictures.
To make things easier on the day, I have printed out my “inspiration pictures” and, along with a picture inspiration for eyeshadow, glued them to thin cardboard from a cereal package and cut that out too. So I now have these three pretty “makeup cards” for guidelines on the day.
And now for some Shakespeare quotes about plucking. Chiefly out eyes.
Macbeth
Whence is that knocking?
How is’t with me, when every noise appalls me?
What hands are here? Hah! They pluck out mine eyes.
Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood
Clean from my hand? No; this my hand will rather
The multitudinous seas incarnadine,
Making the green one red.
Henry IV
The purpose you undertake is dangerous. Why, that’s certain. ‘Tis dangerous to take a cold, to sleep, to drink; but I tell you, my lord fool, out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
Measure for Measure
O, I will to him and pluck out his eyes!
King Leah
GLOUCESTER: Because I would not see thy cruel nails
Pluck out his poor old eyes; nor thy fierce sister
In his anointed flesh stick boarish fangs.
The sea, with such a storm as his bare head
In hell-black night endured, would have buoy’d up,
And quench’d the stelled fires:
Yet, poor old heart, he holp the heavens to rain.
If wolves had at thy gate howl’d that stern time,
Thou shouldst have said ‘Good porter, turn the key,
All cruels else subscribed: but I shall see
The winged vengeance overtake such children.
CORNWALL: See’t shalt thou never. Fellows, hold the chair.
Upon these eyes of thine I’ll set my foot.
I’ve never worn so much make up before in my life! Although… there are lots of things, but I will only be using a little of each.
I laid them out in order of use, so, from left to right:
1. Primer (in a little lip salve tin)
2. Lightener for round my eyes, nose, lips, et cetera
3. Powder, just to lightly dust my face (I do not want to end up looking like a vampire)
4. Blusher and eyeshadow, with lots of brushes
5. Lipliner and sharpener
6. Lipfinity lasting lip stuff and gloss coating
7. Eyeliners (I have a brown waterproof one and a black liquid one just to add the smallest touch of extra dimension but not darken my eyes too much)
8. Waterproof mascara (I also have a little extra brush, but since I took it from another mascara bottle and had to clean it first, it was drying when this picture was taken)
9. Lip gloss
Some of these will be sneaked into my little bag for touch ups during the day. Mostly lip stuff, I am sure. All that eating and drinking I was planning…
What do you love about Christmas? Everybody loves something. There’s no wonder that after your traditional pretty summer weddings where all the girls get their legs out the next most sought after theme is the winter “Christmas” wedding. I’ve seen all sorts – Christmas cake and Christmas trees and baubles and green and red and gold tartan (and the boys with their legs out).
Me, I like the anticipation, the build up to Christmas, the waiting, expecting and planning for it (oh, and the singing moose). More so now that I’m an adult and am allowed to get involved in the planning.
And part of that? Wrapping the presents.
Exciting thing is, we not only receive lots of wedding presents, but we give lots of thank you presents. Some aren’t going to be completed until after the wedding day, and some can be given out come the 19th (but not during the speeches: I don’t like that). Obviously I’m not going to show any of them on here now, because a few people do actually have a glance at this blog, and I’d hate to ruin the surprise.
But I can talk about wrapping them! So, the Fiance and I had a little collect together of all the bits we’d sorted for presents and got out the blue paper my mum had given us…
Some of the gifts were packed into boxes and some were wrapped in bubble wrap – these have twofold functions of protecting a present which doesn’t come in its own padding and disguising it’s shape. Bubble wrap is espectially good for concealing noises too, in case the recipient tries to guess their present by waving the thing around (not the safest ideas, but it always works with malteasers). If I give a gift in a box, I try to find a box which either came from the person the gift is designed for originally, or has some meaning to them. I only succeed about half the time, as most people do not have connections to cardboard boxes.
Here is me with the bubble wrap:
I also had to perform a few tricky manoeuvres with paper folding – I know, I know: it is the most sophisticated art in the world – because of oddly shaped presents. This happens to me a lot, luckily, so I was able to do it neatly enough. I’m not quite a Japanese T-shirt folder, though.
Agh! It has a beak!
*wrestles it to the ground*
…
VICTORY IS MINE!
And here are some of our lovely wrapped-up labelled-up pressies, sitting on our library tea-table. In the background you will see boxes containing our cake stand, some balloon trees in the “wedding cupboard”, and our chat.
As of today – the last hour or so, we have now paid for more than half of our wedding (the biggest expense, caterers, isn’t due until May 1st). I’m very excited about it! Never been so excited before about paying money – the Fiance and I danced around the living room!
Earlier on, we wanted to pay for things in full as they came up, but suppliers don’t like you doing this. I can see their point when small changes incur huge faffs rearranging what is essentially small change on the scale of the total cost – and I have changed our flowers a few times, although they didn’t even want a deposit from us!
So we paid deposits, like good children. But then today we received a call from the registrars saying that they wanted payment 12 weeks before the wedding day, and we were overdue! It is now 29 days… We’d never known the payment date (or had an invoice for the amount!) so we looked up the fee on their website and paid it electronically, presuming we’d got the right amounts.
Everything in the garden was lovely. The Fiance updated our budget spreadsheet and made a list of everything else we’d paid in parts – flowers, transport, food and drink… And thus began the furious invoice hunting.
I located two – the cars and the flowers. Christopher cars were out at a wedding when I called them, but are going to ring me back to let me pay. Their payment was due on the 18th – two days ago (oops – but at least we realised and I contacted him!).
The flowers, as I mentioned, didn’t even have a deposit on them. I trawled through the email conversation I’d had with Jemma from Austin Flowers hoping to find out when they wanted our money. When I eventually found it, it wasn’t very specific either – payment was due before the week of the wedding – around the same time as the catering.
Well, I decided I didn’t want to do this again in two weeks time, and it’s a Friday afternoon, so they should be open. I called up Austin Flowers and explained my business to be greeted with a very cheerful, “Oh! I’ll just look up your invoice!” In fact she sounded delighted that she wouldn’t have to chase me at some later date; I suppose if you’re as relaxed about payment as they seemed initially, it does fall to them to do all the chasing.
Payment over the phone was quick and painless. Another expense sorted: hurrah!
Meanwhile, the Fiance was investigating other suppliers. The Town Hall didn’t pick up the phone, so he left a message with them, and they replied by email shortly afterwards telling us that we didn’t need to pay them anything until the 5th of May – two weeks prior to the ceremony.
He also emailed Oxon Carts – the rickshaw company. They hadn’t given a date for remaining payment either. A few minutes later he got a response: the balance was due tomorrow: they were going to email him then, but he’d beaten them to it. Excellent. So I transferred the rest across online, and the Fiance gave them our payee reference code and explained what we’d done.
Sorted!
The only thing left is the Somerville drinks reception, which the Fiance’s parents are in charge of. The Fiance is emailing them everything they need.
To a lot of people, weddings are about having your dreams come true, breaking the normal rules and being justified in doing exactly what you want, and making a splurge.
Well, I’m sorry, but if most people’s dreams come true on their wedding day, they have pretty limited dreams. I’m not talking about marriage to the love of your life – I’m talking about the wedding.
Weddings are about compromise more than ever.
And the strange thing is that the people around you don’t even know. Their generosity is astounding. They push money and gifts upon you, offer to be there to help, go out of the way to enhance your enjoyment, excitment and the quality of the things you’re investing in.
But at the same time, they will start making demands. We don’t want you to have your wedding there, it’s not nice enough! It’s worth splashing out on your wedding day. We’ll help you. X has to sit next to Y, and if X doesn’t get on with Y’s other half, Y’s other half will have to be moved. You can’t have that! Nobody will like it.
They think they’re making your day better – actually they are making your day better for them.
Yes, everyone needs a bit of advice, because there will always be things we haven’t thought about – mistakes to avoid, butI think it’s very different to say to somebody, “Have you thought about how you’re going to dance in that?” or “Go and buy and better one – you can: it’s your wedding day!” But I… liked… the first one.
And of course, you do want your wedding day to be good for your guests. When did it become about the bride and groom’s taste anyway? When my grandparents got married, the bride’s parents traditionally arranged everything for her: they would not only pay, but also arrange the guest list and choose the trimmings. Yet only two generations later, we behave as if we have some kind of god given right to golden candelabras covered in paper butterflies if we want golden candelabras covered in butterflies! We have themes. The dress matches the venue. We write vows.
The wedding is no longer a present to the couple from the bride’s family on their marriage, it is an expression of the bride and groom, from the bride and groom. And there is more competition.
But even competition means that you’re expressing yourselves less than you want to, than you think you are, because you’re defining yourselves by comparison.
So what am I saying? Essentially, don’t stress over the dream. The dream is never going to be realised, not at your wedding. Insist sometimes, and give in others. Strike a balance. Don’t worry about competing.
Some things are just not feasible. Like my desire to have a singing moose head at our wedding.
…I know.
But we came across this singing Chrismas moose at the German Christmas market and I adored it. I was so excited – like a little child. Can you imagine having this singing at your wedding?
It would be very, very unique.
Unfortunately, google cannot tell me where to hire a singing moose head. I’ve no idea who would get it there and operate it, and it would probably be hideously expensive anyway. Building our own singing moose head is not really an option. But what does it matter? Will anybody’s enjoyment be seriously decreased by lack of singing moose? Will anybody (who doesn’t read this blog) even know? You go through lots of ideas in the course of events planning and most of them go straight out the window. That’s just how it works.
My hair really hates being curled. It fights back.
My mum had a go with some straighteners recently, but since then she updated to “better” straighteners which no longer curl my hair. After our friend Hilary had a go with several kinds of curlers and straighteners, she decided the best way to proceed was to coat my lucious locks in shitloads of holding mousse and hairspray, and twist them into tiny little knots.
After half an hour, the curls which came out were trying to drop (but we’ll do them the night before the on the wedding day), but I looked like a lion, RAR!
I have an unidentified but not, I believe, unique problem. With my oesophagus.
The problem is that I experience pain, which I can best describe as the feeling of a tight water balloon filled with hot water inside me just where the food pipe (oesophagus) meets the stomach (the organ, not your “tummy” at about the bottom of the rib cage). I make sqeaking noises, which come up as air reflux, like something cross between a burp and a hiccup. The noises vary, but are frequently described as “cat noises”. Or random miaows.
This happens after I have eaten. Not all the time, but I have good times and bad times. Hot food, fizzy drinks and occasionally alcohol set it off. Orange juice used to cause me pain within seconds of a sip, but for some reason I noticed that this appeared to have stopped in the last year – I’m still being cautious with it. I can also “get the oesophaguses” from being hungry, being too warm or exercising heavily.
I’m more likely to get just noise than noise and pain, and more likely to get noise and pain than just pain. But any combination is possible. Sometimes it’s so bad that I simply can’t eat hot food and drink hot drinks, and the idea of a nice hot dinner turns my tummy.
Generally, it’s a problem I can live with. I developed it when I was fourteen, and it changed a bit before settling down into what it now is. I spent a lot of time with doctors, who treated me with antiacids, despite a pH test, barium meal and endoscopy all showing that my pH and swallowing were normal. They gave me drugs from the omeprazole family which caused me to hallucinate, have “mini blck outs” (lasting a fraction of a second but wiping my short term memory temporarily – like when you wake up from sleep in an unusual place and have to gather your senses together) or did nothing whatsoever, good or bad. They then sent me to a psychologist who told me to breathe, think about trees, and overcome the problem with willpower. So I gave up on doctors.
But I’m a bit worried about the wedding. There’s going to be warm food and fizzy wine (no, actually we’re having proper Champagne, because the Fiance’s parents are paying and his dad feels the imperative “need” for real Champagne! And, well, it is a wedding afterall…). It’s also in May, which can get quite warm sometimes. So I’m just the tiniest bit worried about it. There’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t persuade it not to be difficult, and I have no idea what kind of “phase” I will be in at the time. As the time gets closer, I have a better and better chance of guessing whether or not it will be badly behaved, but I don’t know. And it would be so upsetting if I couldn’t drink Champagne and eat Mushroom Wellington.
Of course, there’s no point worrying about it, and I try to put it to the back of my mind, but in thinking about it, I was wondering how many other brides and grooms have things like this which worry them for their big day. I’m sure there must be lots of them out there, but medical inhibitions don’t get mentioned much because it is supposed to be the perfect day. Everything is supposed to go well, which means that issues like this become unspeakable and everybody assumes it just “has” to turn out right.
And it’s things like my oesophagus, women starting their periods halfway through the vows and the skies pissing it down all day that remind me that your wedding day is actually just any other day. Life goes on, people get older, nothing coincides. It is a special moment, a cosied memory, but for all the planning in the world you cannot own the day, cannot tie it back and tame it, even for a brief moment, no matter how much you wish for. Everything may go swimmingly, but you can’t control it all. The big, magical adventure of the world is untouchable. We are only invited along for a ride.
For a while, the Fiance has been saying that I am taking over the web with my blog, but apparently he wants to get in on this world domination too, because he’s taken me as inspiration to go and start his own blog – on programming.
It may sound a little way removed from the wedding world, but actually it is closer than you think.
Why?
Because what he is writing about programming is going to be a wedding planning phone app tool.
Ah, I hear you prick up your ears!
Well, I’ll let his blog do most of the talking for itself. Here is some of his planning post:
[T]he number of lists and pieces of paper to keep track of everything is insane! Everything has a different timescale; different participants; costs to budget for; and so on. Basically it is one of the largest events that people are likely to find themselves organising in a non-professional context…
Ideal Version:
Keep track of budget – how much things cost and what proportion is paid for.
Keep track of RSVPs – to the main event/reception (if separate), hen and stag.
Replace all the little bitty notes – to-do lists, records, contact details, ideas.
Count-down – knowing what day is W-Day, and being able to categorise tasks by 12 months before, 6 months before, the day before, day of the wedding, whatever.
Tracking primary responsibility for tasks – is the groom handling the music? Is the bride mostly dealing with the caterers?
Be able to synchronise between multiple devices – the bride and groom, and possibly also the best man, maid of honour, ushers, even parents.
With the above, ideally be able to output something (be it a spreadsheet, Google Doc, whatever) to a computer for handling on a larger screen.
BACK UP AUTOMATICALLY – this is a big deal. The more of the critical pieces of paper that are moving onto an Android, the more careful we need to be that one inopportune crash, or getting your phone nicked, won’t mess everything up; and relying on busy people to manually backup is going to lead to some failures. I have no idea how easy this is – have to look into it later.
Just like almost everything else in our wedding, my make up is going to be DIY. In fact, it never occured to me to hire a make up artist, partly because I wouldn’t trust them (experts tell me they know best; I don’t understand and don’t like saying no: I frequently get hair cuts I don’t like) and partly because why on earth would I want a stranger leering over me on my wedding day???
It’s also an expense. I’d rather invest in some nice make up and teach myself how to use them well, with the aid of YouTube videos. It’s skills acquisition, and I love skills acquisition.
My inspiration for my eye make up came from this rather crumpled face torn from an old copy of the Telegraph (not my Telegraph – my grandparents’ Telegraph; we do not get the Telegraph!).
I wanted to use brown for my eyes, as it’s a simple, natural colour which suits me, and which I have a lot of, although actually I have new set of No 7 brown eyeshadow colours because my grandma got it free from somewhere. It’s compact and easy to carry around, and the colours are right, so I was very pleased with it.
On the other hand, I noticed that it has a pretty glittery glimmer to it, that makes me think it’s for evening wear. But I don’t care: if I can’t be over glamorous on my wedding day, when can I? I’m also not too convinced that anybody will really notice this kind of detail!
To go with this is a little sponge, but I also invested a whole £1.99 in a set of 4 small paintbrushes from the Works for applying make up, and later to use for painting. You don’t actually need to buy proper make up brushes, and these do the job fine.
The mascara and eyeliner I wanted to be brown too, for a softer look from usual, and they would absolutely have to be waterproof. I am taking no chances.
I bought some make up from Boots, but they didn’t have a mascara which was both brown and waterproof – in the end, my mum found me some. It’s also No 7, but I don’t like the brush, so I am using up some Maybelline black mascara so that I can wash the brush and use it to apply the brown No 7 mascara nicely. It’s all sussed.
Eyeliner came from ebay, and is called “Laval Brown Kohn Twist Up Eye-Liner Waterproof” according to my receipt. It’s a twisty pen one, great for not smashing it on travel, and again, waterproof. I did find the brown a little light, and was in danger of making my eyes look a bit red, so when I applied it I touched up the lower rim of the eye with a little liquid black liner at the base of the lashes. I can’t tell you what brand it is, though, I’m afraid, as I’ve had it about 10 years and the name has all but rubbed off.
These are the tools:
which is, to me, a vast quantitity of make up!
I started by applying the white eyeshadow right up to the eyebrow, which I plucked in advance, then lighter browns over the lid of my eye using the sponge supplied. These are techniques I learnt from a large number of Youtube videos!
On the day I will also be using a lightener as a base, which is one of the things I got from my raid on the Body Shop (I use the lightest colour) and is to highlight eyebrow bones and soften under the eyes and around the nose, just to reduce some redness. I was also thinking of underlaying with a little bit of primer (No 7’s), which I took from a sample in Boots! A bit cheeky, I know, but I will never use it again, so only want enough for one wear.
Next on my eye I outlined the rim and the deep bit where the lid meets the brow bone with the darkest brown and using one of my new brushes. I put a dash of white near the corner of the eye to highlight it, and also brushed some dark brown over my eyebrows. I’m crazy about eyebrows. I want Audrey Hepburn eyebrows!
The eye is finished off with the liners and mascara. And here it is.
I think the pictures look a little dodgy in such close up!
shapingpromises 